A traffic jam and people running into the woods with cameras in hand. It can only mean one thing. Wildlife has been spotted in Yellowstone National Park. In this case a really, really big male elk. Whose rack, yes, was bigger than mine. Now they tell you never to get out of the car and approach the wildlife…but when droves of people are excitedly pointing and snapping pictures, well, far be it from me to not join. I also have a pretty nice zoom lens.
Montana’s advertising blitz had worked on me and in May I booked a forest service cabin, located just outside West Yellowstone, that I had been eying for a few months. These cabins, many dating back to the 1920s and 30s were originally used by the forest service rangers but can now be rented out for a sweet bargain; twenty or thirty bucks a night. Many of them require some hiking and packing in to get to but this particular cabin, at least in the summer, was a drive up. But don’t let that fool you. It was out there and it was rustic. No electricity, no water. Just a wood burning stove, a table, some chairs, a bunk bed and a loft. Dishes and pots and pans were also provided but cooking was done either over a campfire or with a backpacking stove. An outhouse and woodshed completed the rustic picture. Clean, quaint and serene was our little cabin in the woods (my girlfriend was with me) and I gave it five out of five rustic stars.
Prior to arriving in Bozeman to pick B up at the airport, I had spent three days driving out via Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota and Wyoming. One of the highlights during my drive was being passed by a group of Hell’s Angels. I then started to realize that I was seeing a lot of motorcycles, especially Harley’s, on the road and a quick check on the smart phone confirmed that it was indeed that time of year, Sturgis 2011, the largest motorcycle gathering/rally/party/lovefest in the United States, if not the world. More on that in a bit.
My first day of driving got off to a rough start for I had sprained my left ankle while packing up the car that morning. It was a swollen thing of beauty. After dropping B of at work, my first stop on my road trip was the first Walgreens I could find for an instant cold pack, Ibuprofen, and an ace bandage. After this painful and delayed start, I still managed to make some good time and was able to get to Albert Lea, Minnesota before I decided it was time to call it quits and get a spot for the night in a state park rental cabin. With the gimpy ankle and killer mosquitos, I was in no mood to deal with setting up a tent. I did however briefly enjoy this gorgeous sunset over the lake.
I have a thing for diners or if you prefer, greasy spoons. City diners, small town diners, it doesn’t matter. But I love these working class places where the coffee is bad and the eggs, bacon and pancake platter costs $3.99. Well maybe a bit higher in the city diner. I was on a hunt for such a place to get day two off right. I am sad to say that the interstate highway system has ruined the small town diner. As I drove along I-90 I stopped at three towns, including Blue Mound, home of the Jolly Green Giant, that I thought would be sure to have that diner full of farmers, truckers and John Deere dealers in their small, historic down towns. But no such luck. The Perkins and Country Kitchens and generic truck stops located next to the interstate had pushed the mom and pop diners out of business. A sad loss of Americana in my opinion.
South Dakota sure does fancy the billboard. Of course, most of them are telling you that Wall Drug and it’s 5 cent coffee is only 355 miles away…now 325 miles…300… anyway, Wall was as good a place as any to pull up for the night. It’s proximity to Badlands National Park was also a plus, allowing me a quick hike after a long day of driving. Gimpy ankle or not, I was determined to get out for at least an hour hike which was really all I had before the sun set. Wouldn’t want to be stuck out in the Badlands at night. Though the trail I headed out on took me only about a mile away from the road that goes through the park, once you are beyond the rocks, it becomes eerily quiet. One wouldn’t know a road existed nearby. I couldn’t help but think about an episode of Man Vs. Wild that I saw once on the Discovery Channel. Some goofy Englishman has himself blindfolded and dropped off into some supposedly remote wilderness and he then uses all of the survival skills at his disposal to make his way back to civilization. This particular episode took place in the Badlands and I remember thinking how overly dramatic he was; for god’s sake I-90 wasn’t even twenty miles away! But I can see how people could get lost and disoriented. I certainly didn’t want to spend the night there or have to catch and cook a rattlesnake for dinner.
Side trip through the Badlands over, it was on to the kitchy town of Wall, South Dakota. Population 800. I stayed at a little mom and pop, or judging from the sweet lady in the office, a grandmom and grandpop, motel in the “heart” of town. Dinner was a tasty cheeseburger and fries at the Badlands Bar. As I was drinking my Miller Light, I amused myself by reading the bumper stickers behind the bar. “Life is too short to drink bad beer,” (I found this amusing being the other choices were Corona, Bud, and Coors) and “Jane Fonda BITCH! An American Traitor.” Yep, it was that kind of bar. Vietnam isn’t just a distant memory here! I struck up a conversation with a nice, fatherly biker from Iowa sitting next to me at the bar who was on his way to Sturgis and it’s famous and infamous motorcycle rally. Apparently it gets so full of bikes that it can take two hours just to go two blocks through town. It also gets quite wild. I can only imagine after seeing a listing of some of the events that were to take place. Some were silly, some were so politically incorrect it made me uncomfortable just reading about it, and one was just downright scary.
The scary: The largest 2nd amendment celebration and rally in the country. Come on out and shoot military grade weapons, new and old, no experience necessary. This is AMERICA, man!!
The silly: Pickle licking contest. Need I say more.
The politically incorrect: Midget tossing or was it mud wrestling. Regardless…made me wince.
Okay…onto Montana we shall go after a short stop in Deadwood, South Dakota for some slots and a Bloody Mary with beer chaser at Saloon #10. It was here that lady luck ran out on Wild Bill Hickock and he was shot in the head during a game of poker. The chair in which he was sitting hangs above the door. Lady luck was not with me either on this day and the $2.25 I won on the nickel slots was immediately lost. So goes my attempt to fund the vacation via gambling; couldn’t even fund my own drink with my winnings! But I wasn’t shot over a deck of cards so I guess it all went well after all.
Eight or nine hours later, after a somewhat tense drive through a thunder and lightning storm in Wyoming, I arrived in Bozeman with just enough time to shower and nap before picking up B at the airport.
